INTELLECTUALIZING THE GOLDEN GIRLS

We discuss the adorable relationship between Sophia and Alvin, and reflect on what makes the diagnosis of Alzheimer's---for Alvin and anyone else affected by this awful disease---so devastating. Because the A-story is so heavy, the B-story has to be equal parts ridiculous and hilarious, and that is exactly what we get when little Daisy (aka Jenny Lewis) bearnaps Rose's beloved Fernando and holds him for ransom. 

Peak Golden Girls scholarship here! In this episode on The Housekeeper, we praise Paula Kelly's performance as Marguerite, call out a couple of the laugh-out-lines, and spend some time critiquing the use of a racist trope here. On the flip side, the writer of this episode, Winifred Hervey, deserves a nod for recognizing that the Girls' stereotyping of Marguerite could be used against them, and boy was it ever. 

What is there to say about Gil Kessler that hasn't already been said? This episode hits on a plethora of big issues including sensationalized politics, trans representation, why it's so hard to believe women, toxic masculinity, and of course the challenges of picking out the perfect tie/sock/hanky combo. We talk about what works here, what doesn't, and speculate as to why this one isn't as celebrated in the Golden Girls queer canon as some others. 

Stan's back and this time he's bringing Dorothy down financially. He reveals he's being audited, and because Uncle Sam is going back so many years, that means Aunt Dorothy is too. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche take a Spanish class down at the local community college. Blanche promises to sleep with the teacher for the answers while Rose refuses to habla ingles (that means speak English). A lot of laughs, a couple of really, really offensive jokes, and a middle-aged guy doing the bare minimum and being praised mean this is the quintessential 80s sitcom formula! 

In what is perhaps the worst episode of the entire Golden Girls series as it relates to body-shaming and fat-phobia, we meet Rebecca, Blanche's formerly estranged daughter, and her douchebag boyfriend, Jeremy. Jeremy is verbally abusive to Becky and every other line from all the characters except for Dorothy (the hero we need) seems to be a crack about Rebecca's body. It is not good. The B-story, however, has Sophia essentially unionizing Pecos Pete's Chow Wagon, and that, we can get into.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to tell a fib. Angelo, Sophia's priest brother, is visiting for the first time in 40 years and Sophia can't bear to tell him Dorothy and Stan are divorced. Using the power of pasta and cheese, she convinces the two to masquerade as though they're still married (spoiler: they're not that convincing). Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche are rehearsing for their roles as two nuns in the community theater production of The Sound of Music. 

In the ultimate role reversal, Sophia has a new boyfriend that Dorothy can't stand. Rocco, played by Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney, adores Sophia, but his disrespectful attitude, cigar habit, and shady past all give Dorothy pause. She tries to impose rules like leaving the bedroom door open, but it's hard to parent an 80-year-old. Meanwhile, Blanche and Dorothy break into Rose's 4-H Pig Diary (YOU KNOW A BETTER WAY TO GET A 4-H PIG DIARY BADGE?) massively invading her privacy. 

In this vignette/flashback Mother's Day episode, we see Dorothy play her own grandmother, Rose lie to the police for a friend, Stan's mom acknowledge his yutzdom, and learn Blanche's true age! It's touching, funny, and we have a lot to say about it--the perfect way to close out the season. 

Ah, yes a clip show. This is just pure, old-fashioned fun. Plot holes abound as we see the short-lived Miami Mom's Catering, which may have gone under due to their first gig being canceled or a total disregard for food safety. There's a Brooklyn flashback featuring the incomparable Lynnie Greene nailing those DZ mannerisms as always, and perhaps most famously, a dance marathon that has given us some of the greatest Golden Girls gifs of all time.

In this Very Special Episode, we talk to popular culture scholar Jared Clayton Brown about his paper Sex and the City, Platinum Edition: How The Golden Girls Altered American Situation Comedy. We talk about the popularity and the cultural impact of the show, and how the Golden Girls used the Norman Lear style of gently and indirectly presenting audiences with heavy subject-matter.  

Stan's brother is in town and spoiler: he really sucks! He goes out with Blanche but he's not into it, and the next thing we know he and Dorothy are aggressively hugging on the front step in the morning. Turns out he's impotent and wanted a babysitter. Meanwhile, Rose is downing caffeinated tea, which she thinks is making her bones strong but is actually keeping her up all hours of the night and Sophia wonders where Ted was her to waltz her down the aisle after Dorothy and Stan got divorced. 

The Girls have been living together for five years and they have HAD it. From Blanche's Designing Women accent to Rose's seemingly incessant need to sprinkle everyday conversation with Norwegian words, to Dorothy's holier-than-thou attitude, they need a headshrinker STAT! This one is a little weak in the writing of the main story, but there are a couple of real gems in the vignettes ($8/an hour). 

Dr. Wendy Burns-Ardolino joins us for a very special episode in which we discuss her book, TV Female Foursomes and Their Fans, and how she built on scholar Deborah Macey's archetypal research -- a previous Enough Wicker Very Special Episode! We talk about the devotion surrounding The Golden Girls and other shows like Designing Women, Girlfriends, Living Single, and more that relied on an all-women ensemble cast to move society forward, move us emotionally, and especially make us laugh. This is one for you fan-scholars! 

Golden Moments Parts 1 and 2 aired on the same night, so audiences were treated to a full hour of clips they'd already seen before. Through flashbacks, this 2-parter revisits classic scenes, such as Sophia's arrival, Blanche's discovery that Danny Thomas was not a lesbian, and Rose nearly blowing poor Lester's head off. In the meantime, Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose work on convincing Sophia to stay in Miami as she considers a move to help Phil with his indistinct number of children. 

Al, Rose's new boyfriend, just retired from a successful career as a deli owner. While he could be content just sleeping late and watching reruns of Moonlighting, Rose compels him to do something better with his time. So, rationally, he decides to purchase a yacht and sail around the world without ever bothering to test his sea legs--bad idea! Meanwhile, Sophia brings in a pervert from the senior center to remodel the Girls' garage into a guest room. 

We are joined by Dr. Elizabeth Yuko, an award-winning journalist and an adjunct professor of ethics. Yuko's 2016 Ted Talk called “Everything I Know About Bioethics I Learned from The Golden Girls" has never been more relevant. Yuko shares examples of how the Golden Girls tackled topics like generalized health, ethics of physicians, sexual health, and shares how she recently referenced Dorothy's world-famous takedown of Dr. Budd in her own real-life struggles to convince medical professionals to take her seriously. 

From public speaking at Aunt Gretchen's funeral, to a totally unheard of fear of flying, to a completely ridiculous phobia of being surrounded by bald men in an enclosed space, Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche each face their biggest fears in this episode. It's also the first of four appearances by Meg Wyllie, who delivers the best line of the entire episode with "yes, that's it--the beverage cart." Real ones know. 

What better way to close out Pride Month than with the author of some of the most dynamic, queer-focused Golden Girls content out there! Dr. Thomas J. West III, TJ to his pals and confidantes, has written extensively about The Golden Girls, television, politics, and more. He is the co-host of the Queens of the B's podcast and was kind enough to talk to us about queerness of Phil Petrillo, the controversy surrounding Mixed Blessings, and the underrated genius of Susan Harris.

Buddy Rourke, an alleged friend of Charlie's is in town and he (like Jean) has the hots for Rose. The two strike up what seems like a relatively mild romance, but then all of a sudden Rose is packing up and moving to Boston with him! Obviously, that doesn't happen, but the Girls decide to let Rose have the sweet little memory, even if it's a lie. Meanwhile, Blanche and Dorothy agonize over what to wear to the museum banquet--we've all been there!

Dorothy is in a rut. Between Blanche's celebrity rags and Rose's...well, Rose in general, the Brightest Kid in Brooklyn™ is feeling a little unstimulated, intellectually. Dorothy decides to get out and do something for herself, and attends a lecture by celebrated author and metaphor-user Barbara Thorndyke. Even though it's clear to Rose and Madge that Barbara totally sucks, it takes Dorothy some time to see it, but boy is it worth the wait. Dorothy confronts Barbara when she reveals that she's a member of a club with antisemitic policies in a way that is still so relevant today; standing up to intolerance is always the right thing to do, even if there's a great breakfast and the parking is free. 

Golden Girls Fashion Corner is the place on the web for the clothes of our beloved Golden Girls. The woman behind the blog, Claire Sewell, joins us to talk about what inspired her to start the site, the thought behind the wardrobe choices, and how sometimes fashion has a scholarly element to it, but sometimes it's just plain fun. Check out GoldenGirlsFashion.com for more insight and enjoy!

We give all of our thoughts on the controversial Mixed Blessings episode, as well as a lament at how bad this show handles issues of race in general. For a further scholarly take, check out Dr. Stephen Trasher's The Real Mud on the Golden Girls piece for Variety. 

WELCOME BAABYY! This is an off-the-wall episode wherein Rose inherits responsibility for her dear old uncle's pet pig (although, not that dear, since she's unclear on his offspring). The rest of the girls are initially definitive "no"s but when Baby's escort/attorney reveals that care of the pig comes with a $100K bonus, they change their tune, at least temporarily. 

Rose is leading another pseudo-Girl Scout troop and she's concerned about nuclear war. In one of the most bizarre episodes, Rose writes to both the American and Soviet governments calling for peace. There's a Coca-Cola shower, a bangin' jingle about Medicare and a dream sequence that features all four Girls speaking at Red Square. Off the wall, but that's why The Golden Girls is the second best thing about America (after Slurpee, of course).

Friends, welcome to the VERY FIRST in-person recording of Enough Wicker. Yes, Lauren and Sarah sit together in the same space to talk about the perils of Little Sven (not to be confused with Big Sven or Big Sven 2). Blanche tries to get back at Floyd by cozying up to Rose's nordic cousin, who mistakes it for love--that is until he sees the dime piece he's been promised to. Meanwhile, Sophia begs Dorothy to let her drive again & the two try to navigate road safety for an 80+-year-old. 

Hold onto your chisels, Laszlo's in town! The Hungarian Hunk initially plans to use Blanche as a nude model for his sculpture, but eventually, he asks Rose and Dorothy as well. This creates a rift in the household because all three women are interested in helping Laszlo buff his marble, if you catch our drift, but his heart (and marble) belong to someone else. Meanwhile, Sophia gets into practical jokes but for some reason, doesn't exploit her ex-son-in-law's connection to novelties at all! 

In an absolute classic, the Girls head to Hollywood to appear on polyester and teeth-clad Guy Corbin's epic game show, Grab that Dough. This one features the return of the Horse Statue™, original hustler Nancy, soup, soup, and more soup AND happens to be the all-time favorite of another artist with an incredible body, the genius behind Oh Shut Up Rose and Golden Girls Posters!

Sophia is feeling bummed as all of her friends her own age have either moved out of town, died, or assumed new identities as Pinky Lee. Dorothy, thinking only of her mother's happiness, starts bringing her along on dates with her boyfriend Raymond. Eventually, Raymond (understandably) grows tired of this, and Dorothy decides it's more important to preserve Sophia's happiness than have an awkward conversation. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose run against each other for the prestigious position of Fashion Show Chairman of the Tinkerbelles. 

In what is the opposite of a fan-favorite, Rose dates Mr. Terrific, Dorothy attempts to fix his show and is sexually harassed by a puppet, and Blanche gets a different bed than the one she ordered. We're here to dunk on the sub-par (for this show) writing, the strange deliveries of lines, and pretty much everything else.