INTELLECTUALIZING THE GOLDEN GIRLS

52

We discuss the adorable relationship between Sophia and Alvin, and reflect on what makes the diagnosis of Alzheimer's---for Alvin and anyone else affected by this awful disease---so devastating. Because the A-story is so heavy, the B-story has to be equal parts ridiculous and hilarious, and that is exactly what we get when little Daisy (aka Jenny Lewis) bearnaps Rose's beloved Fernando and holds him for ransom. 

s3/e1

 43 MIN 

55

Peak Golden Girls scholarship here! In this episode on The Housekeeper, we praise Paula Kelly's performance as Marguerite, call out a couple of the laugh-out-lines, and spend some time critiquing the use of a racist trope here. On the flip side, the writer of this episode, Winifred Hervey, deserves a nod for recognizing that the Girls' stereotyping of Marguerite could be used against them, and boy was it ever. 

s3/e4

 36 MIN 

58

What is there to say about Gil Kessler that hasn't already been said? This episode hits on a plethora of big issues including sensationalized politics, trans representation, why it's so hard to believe women, toxic masculinity, and of course the challenges of picking out the perfect tie/sock/hanky combo. We talk about what works here, what doesn't, and speculate as to why this one isn't as celebrated in the Golden Girls queer canon as some others. 

s3/e7

33 MIN 

61

Stan's back and this time he's bringing Dorothy down financially. He reveals he's being audited, and because Uncle Sam is going back so many years, that means Aunt Dorothy is too. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche take a Spanish class down at the local community college. Blanche promises to sleep with the teacher for the answers while Rose refuses to habla ingles (that means speak English). A lot of laughs, a couple of really, really offensive jokes, and a middle-aged guy doing the bare minimum and being praised mean this is the quintessential 80s sitcom formula! 

s3/e10

27 MIN 

65

In what is perhaps the worst episode of the entire Golden Girls series as it relates to body-shaming and fat-phobia, we meet Rebecca, Blanche's formerly estranged daughter, and her douchebag boyfriend, Jeremy. Jeremy is verbally abusive to Becky and every other line from all the characters except for Dorothy (the hero we need) seems to be a crack about Rebecca's body. It is not good. The B-story, however, has Sophia essentially unionizing Pecos Pete's Chow Wagon, and that, we can get into.

s3/e14

39 MIN 

68

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to tell a fib. Angelo, Sophia's priest brother, is visiting for the first time in 40 years and Sophia can't bear to tell him Dorothy and Stan are divorced. Using the power of pasta and cheese, she convinces the two to masquerade as though they're still married (spoiler: they're not that convincing). Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche are rehearsing for their roles as two nuns in the community theater production of The Sound of Music. 

s3/e17

29 MIN 

72

In the ultimate role reversal, Sophia has a new boyfriend that Dorothy can't stand. Rocco, played by Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney, adores Sophia, but his disrespectful attitude, cigar habit, and shady past all give Dorothy pause. She tries to impose rules like leaving the bedroom door open, but it's hard to parent an 80-year-old. Meanwhile, Blanche and Dorothy break into Rose's 4-H Pig Diary (YOU KNOW A BETTER WAY TO GET A 4-H PIG DIARY BADGE?) massively invading her privacy. 

s3/e21

29 MIN 

76

In this vignette/flashback Mother's Day episode, we see Dorothy play her own grandmother, Rose lie to the police for a friend, Stan's mom acknowledge his yutzdom, and learn Blanche's true age! It's touching, funny, and we have a lot to say about it--the perfect way to close out the season. 

s3/e25

27 MIN 

53

Ah, yes a clip show. This is just pure, old-fashioned fun. Plot holes abound as we see the short-lived Miami Mom's Catering, which may have gone under due to their first gig being canceled or a total disregard for food safety. There's a Brooklyn flashback featuring the incomparable Lynnie Greene nailing those DZ mannerisms as always, and perhaps most famously, a dance marathon that has given us some of the greatest Golden Girls gifs of all time.

s3/e2

 23 MIN 

★

In this Very Special Episode, we talk to popular culture scholar Jared Clayton Brown about his paper Sex and the City, Platinum Edition: How The Golden Girls Altered American Situation Comedy. We talk about the popularity and the cultural impact of the show, and how the Golden Girls used the Norman Lear style of gently and indirectly presenting audiences with heavy subject-matter.  

VSE/6

 69 MIN 

59

Stan's brother is in town and spoiler: he really sucks! He goes out with Blanche but he's not into it, and the next thing we know he and Dorothy are aggressively hugging on the front step in the morning. Turns out he's impotent and wanted a babysitter. Meanwhile, Rose is downing caffeinated tea, which she thinks is making her bones strong but is actually keeping her up all hours of the night and Sophia wonders where Ted was her to waltz her down the aisle after Dorothy and Stan got divorced. 

s3/e8

27 MIN 

62

The Girls have been living together for five years and they have HAD it. From Blanche's Designing Women accent to Rose's seemingly incessant need to sprinkle everyday conversation with Norwegian words, to Dorothy's holier-than-thou attitude, they need a headshrinker STAT! This one is a little weak in the writing of the main story, but there are a couple of real gems in the vignettes ($8/an hour). 

s3/e11

21 MIN 

★

Dr. Wendy Burns-Ardolino joins us for a very special episode in which we discuss her book, TV Female Foursomes and Their Fans, and how she built on scholar Deborah Macey's archetypal research -- a previous Enough Wicker Very Special Episode! We talk about the devotion surrounding The Golden Girls and other shows like Designing Women, Girlfriends, Living Single, and more that relied on an all-women ensemble cast to move society forward, move us emotionally, and especially make us laugh. This is one for you fan-scholars! 

VSE/8

66 MIN 

69 & 70

Golden Moments Parts 1 and 2 aired on the same night, so audiences were treated to a full hour of clips they'd already seen before. Through flashbacks, this 2-parter revisits classic scenes, such as Sophia's arrival, Blanche's discovery that Danny Thomas was not a lesbian, and Rose nearly blowing poor Lester's head off. In the meantime, Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose work on convincing Sophia to stay in Miami as she considers a move to help Phil with his indistinct number of children. 

s3/e18 & 19

36 MIN 

73

Al, Rose's new boyfriend, just retired from a successful career as a deli owner. While he could be content just sleeping late and watching reruns of Moonlighting, Rose compels him to do something better with his time. So, rationally, he decides to purchase a yacht and sail around the world without ever bothering to test his sea legs--bad idea! Meanwhile, Sophia brings in a pervert from the senior center to remodel the Girls' garage into a guest room. 

s3/e22

27 MIN 

★

We are joined by Dr. Elizabeth Yuko, an award-winning journalist and an adjunct professor of ethics. Yuko's 2016 Ted Talk called “Everything I Know About Bioethics I Learned from The Golden Girls" has never been more relevant. Yuko shares examples of how the Golden Girls tackled topics like generalized health, ethics of physicians, sexual health, and shares how she recently referenced Dorothy's world-famous takedown of Dr. Budd in her own real-life struggles to convince medical professionals to take her seriously. 

VSE/5

 65 MIN 

56

From public speaking at Aunt Gretchen's funeral, to a totally unheard of fear of flying, to a completely ridiculous phobia of being surrounded by bald men in an enclosed space, Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche each face their biggest fears in this episode. It's also the first of four appearances by Meg Wyllie, who delivers the best line of the entire episode with "yes, that's it--the beverage cart." Real ones know. 

s3/e5

 30 MIN 

★

What better way to close out Pride Month than with the author of some of the most dynamic, queer-focused Golden Girls content out there! Dr. Thomas J. West III, TJ to his pals and confidantes, has written extensively about The Golden Girls, television, politics, and more. He is the co-host of the Queens of the B's podcast and was kind enough to talk to us about queerness of Phil Petrillo, the controversy surrounding Mixed Blessings, and the underrated genius of Susan Harris.

VSE/7

57 MIN 

63

Buddy Rourke, an alleged friend of Charlie's is in town and he (like Jean) has the hots for Rose. The two strike up what seems like a relatively mild romance, but then all of a sudden Rose is packing up and moving to Boston with him! Obviously, that doesn't happen, but the Girls decide to let Rose have the sweet little memory, even if it's a lie. Meanwhile, Blanche and Dorothy agonize over what to wear to the museum banquet--we've all been there!

s3/e12

24 MIN 

66

Dorothy is in a rut. Between Blanche's celebrity rags and Rose's...well, Rose in general, the Brightest Kid in Brooklyn™ is feeling a little unstimulated, intellectually. Dorothy decides to get out and do something for herself, and attends a lecture by celebrated author and metaphor-user Barbara Thorndyke. Even though it's clear to Rose and Madge that Barbara totally sucks, it takes Dorothy some time to see it, but boy is it worth the wait. Dorothy confronts Barbara when she reveals that she's a member of a club with antisemitic policies in a way that is still so relevant today; standing up to intolerance is always the right thing to do, even if there's a great breakfast and the parking is free. 

s3/e15

31 MIN 

★

Golden Girls Fashion Corner is the place on the web for the clothes of our beloved Golden Girls. The woman behind the blog, Claire Sewell, joins us to talk about what inspired her to start the site, the thought behind the wardrobe choices, and how sometimes fashion has a scholarly element to it, but sometimes it's just plain fun. Check out GoldenGirlsFashion.com for more insight and enjoy!

VSE/9

69 MIN 

74

We give all of our thoughts on the controversial Mixed Blessings episode, as well as a lament at how bad this show handles issues of race in general. For a further scholarly take, check out Dr. Stephen Trasher's The Real Mud on the Golden Girls piece for Variety. 

s3/e23

39 MIN 

54

WELCOME BAABYY! This is an off-the-wall episode wherein Rose inherits responsibility for her dear old uncle's pet pig (although, not that dear, since she's unclear on his offspring). The rest of the girls are initially definitive "no"s but when Baby's escort/attorney reveals that care of the pig comes with a $100K bonus, they change their tune, at least temporarily. 

s3/e3

 29 MIN 

57

Rose is leading another pseudo-Girl Scout troop and she's concerned about nuclear war. In one of the most bizarre episodes, Rose writes to both the American and Soviet governments calling for peace. There's a Coca-Cola shower, a bangin' jingle about Medicare and a dream sequence that features all four Girls speaking at Red Square. Off the wall, but that's why The Golden Girls is the second best thing about America (after Slurpee, of course).

s3/e6

45 MIN 

60

Friends, welcome to the VERY FIRST in-person recording of Enough Wicker. Yes, Lauren and Sarah sit together in the same space to talk about the perils of Little Sven (not to be confused with Big Sven or Big Sven 2). Blanche tries to get back at Floyd by cozying up to Rose's nordic cousin, who mistakes it for love--that is until he sees the dime piece he's been promised to. Meanwhile, Sophia begs Dorothy to let her drive again & the two try to navigate road safety for an 80+-year-old. 

s3/e9

33 MIN 

64

Hold onto your chisels, Laszlo's in town! The Hungarian Hunk initially plans to use Blanche as a nude model for his sculpture, but eventually, he asks Rose and Dorothy as well. This creates a rift in the household because all three women are interested in helping Laszlo buff his marble, if you catch our drift, but his heart (and marble) belong to someone else. Meanwhile, Sophia gets into practical jokes but for some reason, doesn't exploit her ex-son-in-law's connection to novelties at all! 

s3/e13

25 MIN 

67

In an absolute classic, the Girls head to Hollywood to appear on polyester and teeth-clad Guy Corbin's epic game show, Grab that Dough. This one features the return of the Horse Statue™, original hustler Nancy, soup, soup, and more soup AND happens to be the all-time favorite of another artist with an incredible body, the genius behind Oh Shut Up Rose and Golden Girls Posters!

s3/e16

32 MIN 

71

Sophia is feeling bummed as all of her friends her own age have either moved out of town, died, or assumed new identities as Pinky Lee. Dorothy, thinking only of her mother's happiness, starts bringing her along on dates with her boyfriend Raymond. Eventually, Raymond (understandably) grows tired of this, and Dorothy decides it's more important to preserve Sophia's happiness than have an awkward conversation. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose run against each other for the prestigious position of Fashion Show Chairman of the Tinkerbelles. 

s3/e20

36 MIN 

75

In what is the opposite of a fan-favorite, Rose dates Mr. Terrific, Dorothy attempts to fix his show and is sexually harassed by a puppet, and Blanche gets a different bed than the one she ordered. We're here to dunk on the sub-par (for this show) writing, the strange deliveries of lines, and pretty much everything else. 

s3/e24

24 MIN 

77

Fidel Santiago, a snappy dressing cigar heir and all-around charmer dates both Blanche and Sophia. His long teeth raise questions, particularly around his relationship with Blanche, but his life and death serve to prove that age is just a number. Meanwhile, we learn that Rose started a mono outbreak in St. Olaf that may have actually contributed to the Allied victory in WWII as she enrolls in Ms. Zbornak's history class. 

s4/e1

 31 MIN 

81

Dorothy is battling Stan for Sophia's soul and Blanche & Rose are up all night howlin. In the nosebleed seats of a baseball game, Sophia gets whacked on the head with a ball. Stan comes up with a way for the two of them to join forces and scam some money out of the insurance company, though we think it's a few days too late to be believable. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche are cast in Cats in the community theater and wholly immerse themselves in the character. 

s4/e5

 25 MIN 

86

We open this episode by paying tribute to our dearly departed Betty White, who entertained millions with her command of comedy and inspired just as many with her commitment to kindness. Thank you for being a friend, Betty. Plus, we have some thoughts about grief and ex-husbands.

s4/e10

 37 MIN 

90

In this one, Dorothy engages in the age-old practice of #sportnookie with Eddie, whose apparent sexual prowess is hidden beneath an unassuming exterior. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose decide to mentor two teenage punks and end up in the slammer. 

s4/e14

 26 MIN 

94

Rose makes the mistake of trusting Sophia with a large sum of money the Girls intend to use for a joint CD account, and rather than buying a handful of magic beans or completing the task, Sophia brings home a prizefighter. Apparently, some kind of transaction goes down at a bus stop, and bim bam boom, the Girls are now responsible for training and housing this young fighter who, as is later revealed, is also a multi-talented artist. 

s4/e18

 33 MIN 

98

In this one, Sophia busts her friend Lilian out of Sunny Pastures, a rundown nursing home struggling in the age of Reagan-era cuts. Meanwhile, Blanche gets a bonus and initially plans to put the money in her bosom account, but in the end, decides her found money would be better spent in another way.

s4/e22

 36 MIN 

78

The three younger girls sit around the kitchen table lamenting that Sophia is letting the last of her life slip away. Rose's puritanical work ethic, Blanche's overactive sex drive and Dorothy's grounding nature all abound as the rain comes down outside. Meanwhile, Sophia--ironically the only one to leave the house, has a full adventure of a day complete with grocery store advocacy, hospital volunteerism and conducting an old lady jazz band. 

s4/e2

 31 MIN 

82

Sophia's getting married, Rose and Blanche are establishing a Miami-based chapter of the Hunka Hunka Burnin Love Fanclub, Dorothy is smoking, and somehow the caterer is still the star! This one has a ton of funny moments and reveals something deep about the addictive Petrillo genes. We also think when you're in your 80s, if you wanna get married or just find a long-distance hook-up buddy from your past, that's A-OK with us, so long as you always carry an array of Lifesavers. 

s4/e6 & 7

 60 MIN 

87

Is that an original DeKimmel!? In this one, the roof is leaking and rather than shell out the dough like any normal landlord, Blanche is focused on preserving a towel that never contained baby Skippy. While trying to come up with the cash for a new roof, the girls hear that Jasper DeKimmel, a cranky-but-talented artist is nearing the end of his life, so naturally, they divert their funds and buy one of his pieces at an auction. 

s4/e11

 22 MIN 

91

In your classic Golden Girls clip show, we've got Sal being a total bagagalupe and Sophia's dad letting him know it, Blanche meeting another gay man in Clayton's favorite bar, the girls going to a nudist resort, and Blanche bringing sexual liberation and responsibility to a Greater Miami pharmacy. What a load of fun! Happy Valentine's Day to each and every one of our listeners and remember, you're special.

s4/e15

 31 MIN 

95

And she's a teacher too! 

Dorothy's high school best friend Trudy McMahon comes to Miami for their high school reunion and brings along her handsome husband Jack, a pair of new A+ breasts, and a drive for competition. Dorothy literally kills Trudy on the tennis court, or so we think, and then wants to spend the entire evening of her reunion screwing around in the bedroom when there are important things to do outside. This is a laugh-out-loud episode with a plot that makes no sense, and that is something we have to accept. 

s4/e19

 36 MIN 

99

Oh boy, a whole episode about body negativity and dieting, wahoo! We kid, we kid. But in this one, the Girls are all dealing with their weight and appearance; Sophia is hellbent on gaining a pound to get back to her ideal weight while the rest of the crew tries working out and new hairstyling in order to look their best for an annual summer party. A classic clip show where, even in their desperation, the Girls can't be convinced to join Stanley's self-help pyramid scheme club.

s4/e23

 32 MIN 

79

Rose and Dorothy assume the roles of Mulder and Scully after seeing what appears to be a UFO. Meanwhile, Blanche attempts a conquest for the one man who has ever rejected her advances. The UFO story is A++, especially considering Dorothy's natural skepticism and Rose's naive assumption that the extraterrestrials are here to help us earthlings.

s4/e3

 35 MIN 

84

We revisit Brother, Can You Spare that Jacket, in which each of the girls has their own personal reckoning with the state of things in America. After a brief bit of riding high on a winning lotto ticket, Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia, and Rose trounce all over Miami to find the ticket after it is mistakenly given away. There's a celebrity auction, a do-nothing councilman, and a mixup of Michael J. Fox and Michael Jackson, but all in all this is a pretty heavy episode that handles important subject matter in a really powerful way. 

s4/e8

 40 MIN 

88

In this episode, Blanche meets a charming, handsome man who knows the ins and outs of high society food pairings. It should be perfect, but John is blind, and so Blanche, who derives most of her self-worth from her looks, is left wondering what he could possibly like about her. Meanwhile, Rose and Dorothy (and eventually Sophia) coach a peewee football team where all the boys are named Victor. 

s4/e12

 25 MIN 

92

Chalk it all up to synergism. In this one, Dorothy and Sophia are shaken up by the rate at which Sophia's friends are dying. Dorothy's response is to book a suite at Disney World and look at old photos, rather than ride the rides (or, thankfully, to have Sophia seized by Shady Pines staff on the tarmac). Sophia, meanwhile, wants to leave Memory Lane for Space Mountain. At home, Blanche, who apparently has a talent for drawing, and Rose work on a children's book about Toonder the Mediocre Tiger and his friends. 

s4/e16

 33 MIN 

96

In a heavier A-story that is all too timely, Rose confronts an addiction to pills. She reveals her doctor prescribed painkillers for an old farm injury decades ago, and she's been taking them daily ever since. The Girls rally together to help her address the problem and thankfully, come out of a 30-day treatment program as the same ol' Rose. Meanwhile, Sophia and Dorothy are cast in a commercial for a local pizza place, but it doesn't exactly work out.

s4/e20

 33 MIN 

100

In one of the wackiest of all-time episodes, Sophia's old friends Dominic and Philomena Bosco, aka Freida Claxton and Vincenzo the Contractor (actually aka Nan Martin and Vito Scotti) come to take Dorothy, their alleged biological daughter, back to Sicily for an arranged marriage. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose are inspired by Lawrence of Arabia and decide to take up dirty dancing, with one of them taking much easier to the craft than the other. 

s4/e24

 26 MIN 

80

Rose is up for St. Olaf's Woman of the Year! OOOFDAH! There's only one problem, Blanche and Dorothy are back to their Issac Q. Newton/rez-ume ways and they've stretched the truth a bit on her application. Mighty flood, etc. Meanwhile, the AC is out and the girls struggle to keep cool. All in all, this one is incredibly goofy, there's a bunch of funny lines, and it's a pretty revealing picture of Rose's naive all-American nature. 

s4/e4

 34 MIN 

85

In a very special episode, we are joined by the only man to ever put his own head on Fifi's body, Chris Gallo of OhShuttUpRose.com and Golden Girls Posters! We start by talking about all of Chris' Golden Girls-related projects and then jump into one of his favorite episodes, Scared Straight. We cover everything from Phil Petrillo's significance to whether or not Rose would have actually said "Clayton is a hobo" to #coughgate88. It's bound to be Doug's favorite and is our last episode of the year!

s4/e9

 83 MIN 

89

Sophia is called upon to perform a Sicilian act of vengeance while Rose deals with sexual frustration, just another day in the Golden Girls' house. In this one, Rose is seeing a man named Ernie, a corporate attorney who does not have a drinking problem, and everything is going well until he reveals that he is impotent (bon appetit). After a romantic getaway fails, a steamy exchange over dinner finally does the trick. Meanwhile, Sophia receives a feather in the mail and must avenge her scarecrow uncle. 

s4/e13

 29 MIN 

93

Dorothy is in charge of finding talent for an upcoming variety show and recruits Rose, Blanche, and Sophia to help. The Donatello Triplets prove to be worthy headliners, even if the one juggling Sklarkievich Brother leaves a bit to be desired, but the major gap to fill is that they need an MC. Rose, leaning heavily on a parasocial relationship she built with Bob Hope, tells the girls not to sweat it, as she'll just make a quick call to her birth father and their problems will be solved. 

s4/e17

 31 MIN 

97

She's mopey, dopey, and full of crap, Rose's sister. In this one, Holly, Rose's flute-playing, philandering, annoying AF little sister comes to Miami and charms Blanche and Dorothy right away. Sophia sees through it a bit and councils Rose to let them see it for themselves, and boy do they ever. Meanwhile, Sophia agrees to dog sit two Dreyfusses. 

s4/e21

 23 MIN