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[TRANSCRIPT] Episode 17: Lucy, Crockett, & Tubbs (Episode 17, s1/e17)

Blanche's niece Lucy is in town and arrives with a bang (literally). The girls become concerned with Lucy's promiscuity, all while debating how to handle a field mouse who has taken up residency in their kitchen. Eventually, Blanche is able to offer Lucy some powerful words on self-respect and knowing your worth, and Rose finally finds a friend who appreciates her brain, if only for the vast amounts of useless Miami Vice knowledge it holds.

Below is the Enough Wicker podcast transcript for Episode 17: Lucy, Crockett, & Tubbs, analyzing The Golden Girls Season 1 episode, Nice and Easy :

Lauren 0:00

Hello and welcome to Enough Wicker, a podcast where we try to impress our friends but love ourselves first with our knowledge of our favorite show, The Golden Girls. I'm Lauren.

Sarah 0:10

And I'm Sarah.

Lauren 0:11

And today we're tackling the 17th episode in the series, Nice and Easy.

Sarah 0:16

Ah yes, the Miami Vice episode is like basically how I would say it to myself when I would watch reruns. I love this one. It's ridiculous, but I love this one. And it's like, really, I think, you know, there are so many great lines, but it's also very formative speaking directly to a young girl. And I think in the theme of you and I talking about how like we didn't realize the show was transforming us into feminists, but also just people who you know, have self-worth and self-respect. I think there is a really great theme in which we get to see Blanche acting as, you know, an aunt, in this case, but having that sort of grandmotherly speech that really is a positive speech -- a positive influence of someone who is not your parent, right? And it's a very different kind of style from, you know, even though she's still chasing after Lucy from David, as we saw previously. And of course, you mentioned in that episode about like how interesting it is as a male character versus a female character and how different it feels. Because Lucy is supposed to be what, 20?

Lauren 1:31

20 yeah.

Sarah 1:32

And David was 14. So I guess there's a little bit of a difference there. Well there's a lot a bit of a difference, let's be honest, but still, it was just it's just to compare the two was fascinating.

Lauren 1:41

Yeah, I agree. I mean, I find it much more believable that Lucy, a 20 year old, could go out and meet people randomly. So I allow that. Yeah, you know, it's funny, I always think of this one. I am finding myself doing this a lot when I'm going through the first season. I always thought of this one as kind of a dud. But it's not at all! But yeah, this show is so incredibly feminist at points and I feel like you could do -- obviously you would need to update the Miami Vice piece a little bit -- but like, you could have this arc now, and I think it would be recognized and celebrated, as the message of 'you shouldn't be with men to get them to like you' is, you know, it is evergreen, like it could still be applicable now and I think it would still be a valuable lesson now, honestly.


Yeah, you're right. It's, like, everything about this episode is evergreen except for the Miami Vice part. I guess they did, like, bring it back with Channing Tatum and like Jonah Hill or something, didn't they? Oh, no, that was 21 Jump Street. Nevermind!


But they did bring it back to Miami Vice, too, I think. And you know, what's funny is -- and it makes sense I guess at the time --but like, so there's this guy who's like super into Miami Vice, but then in a later episode, The Flu episode where they're at the charity banquet and oddly Don Johnson's jacket is there. Like Don Johnson, I guess was supposed to make an appearance but he couldn't be so -- It does make sense that in Miami at this time, Miami Vice would come up a lot in your daily life. So good for them.!

Sarah 3:19

Yeah, it's a big deal. It's true. It's a stretch but it's also not you know, which is really funny. Also, I just like love the idea of like, Oh, you know, this is a person who like built their life around a television show, which I wouldn't say we have built our lives around it --

Lauren 3:37

Not yet!

Sarah 3:37

Yeah, kind of one of those like, ughhh -- yeah, exactly.

Lauren 3:40

I don't think I haven't looked at like multi-dwelling options for us in Miami later!

Sarah 3:48

But also on the topic of Miami Vice -- this is interesting, because this brings up the sort of origins of a show about older women living in Miami, because it like there was a spoof on Miami Vice called 'Miami Nice', and it was just a sketch for the NBC promotional program for, like, their 1984 season, which by the way, they used to do this, right? It's like a reel of like previews for, like, broadcast TV, which is funny. I mean, you know, they have trailers for video games nowadays. I mean, they have everything but it's just these advertising teasers. It was with Selma Diamond and Doris Roberts, and they were you know, there were like quotes like, oh, it must be about a bunch of old people sitting around playing pinochle, like it was just really funny. And I guess like the bug, you know, like that sort of concept caught on. They were like actually, maybe that's a good idea! So like, the working title was 'Miami Nice' for The Golden Girls, which of course, they picked a much much better name, but I just thought that was funny of like, this 'Miami Vice,' like you said, it's so baked into Miami in this time period, just like 'we got a show!'

Lauren 4:58

Yeah, good thing they didn't go with Miami Nice for their real name, too, because that's just a parody of Miami Vice. Like, what a terrible thing if this amazing show was simply a parody of Miami Vice who nobody cares about.

Sarah 5:12

Well, people care about it -- Ed does. But we'll get to that.

Lauren 5:13

Yeah, I want to get into, obviously, you know the big part of it, but I also want to maybe start with the B story of the mouse and Rose's experience with Larry the mouse.

Sarah 5:27

A rat!

Lauren 5:28

No more rat talk!

Sarah 5:30

Oh my gosh, yeah, Blanche's -- Like, this is also harkening back before we get to the mouse, hearkening back to the whole The Transplant where Blanche is freaking out because like Virginia is coming and she's putting up, like, 700 floral bouquets and everything. And, you know, Sophia is doing her toes and she's like, this doesn't look very nice. Like, it's just amazing like the same exact Blanche, except again, this character much more to who Blanche is now -- because she's more casual about it and it's her niece it's not a competitive, but you know, she's still trying to make the home look lovely. Which it's just a funny callback to see, in the same season, this character much closer to what she really would be like in that scenario.

Lauren 6:14

Yeah. And I think that she -- yeah, she's much more like she just wants Lucy to feel welcome and comfortable. And it's not as much, like, she has to think everything is perfect. So it does feel much more at ease. Yeah, but you know, Blanche is showy, like we've talked about that before. So I definitely think that lines up, like all around.

Sarah 6:39

But anyway, the rat! Or the mouse.

Lauren 6:41

The rat, right. But it's another callback to Rose sort of being, you know, a big animal person, so much so that she doesn't want Dorothy to get a mousetrap or kill the mouse. Which lines up, and lines up, I think, very well with Dorothy, again, being the logical person who's like 'we -- we shouldn't have a mouse in the house, I don't understand, like why is this a thing we're debating?'

Sarah 7:08

Oh my gosh, it's great. It's, again, a very loose B story -- again, because the girls obviously come support Blanche when she has to eventually chase after Lucy. But there's you know, they're very involved in, again, coaching her -- coaching Blanche -- on what, you know, Lucy should be doing, that kind of thing. And it's always weird, like, there there's the scene -- can we talk about the scene where like Lucy, we're skipping ahead but, like where Lucy comes back from, you know, her night with the doctor and they went on a cruise and all this other stuff, and she says she's going out with Michael. And she doesn't tell Blanche -- like Blanche isn't in the on the lanai when she reveals that Michael is a new guy, right? And you know, the girls are, again, it's a very -- it's an interesting situation to be in, right? Where you want to parent, and you want to say it, but it's not really your place. It's the same exact idea of slapping, you know, David.

Lauren 8:07


Sarah 8:08

Like where it's like, okay, but like I think I need to help my friend along here, because there is that of course, you know, reveal where Dorothy is like, Blanche, this is the second man she's gone away with since she arrived -- yesterday. She's so, you know, matter of fact, like, okay, I need to help you get her to this place. Who says it -- is it Sophia who goes, 'talk to her motha!'

Lauren 8:35

Yeah. Well, and Dorothy says it, too. And actually, I want to talk about that because I think making Lucy 20 years old is actually perfect. Because she's like, you know, technically an adult, but it's just -- you're basically just like a teenager with more rights when you're 20 years old. Like you shouldn't -- you're not really an adult, but you are groomed to believe that you are.

Sarah 8:56


Lauren 8:57

And so I think that it's really smart to make that age, because I think Blanche is in a pretty precarious situation, because honestly, like, I don't think she should tell her mother. It's none of her mother's business like who she's seeing in that context.

Sarah 9:11

Also, who is her mother? Is it Virginia, Charmaine or, like, Clayton's wife? 'Cause Clayton doesn't exist yet, but you know, we don't now that. It's just one of those random nieces.

Lauren 9:19

I think it's got to be one of the sisters because she says, like, my sister would never let -- or I don't know if she does --

Sarah 9:30

Oh, yeah. 'Would your mother let you go? No. Then go.'

Lauren 9:33

Yeah! I like the established relationship that the aunt and niece have, I think it's very true to life. I feel like you always have a cool aunt who let you do things that your mom didn't, who you could talk to about, like, sex and things like that.

Sarah 9:50

Like I was saying with that speech, it comes in from being that additional family member -- that it's not your parent -- to be able to talk to you in a way that like you're not going to hear in the same way if it came from your mom or dad.

Lauren 9:59

Right, exactly. And I think that the way the other girls react to Lucy, like Sophia is just like, you know, making like "so did half of Miami,' like Sophia is like, not super --

Sarah 10:12

'Girl's a slut.'

Lauren 10:14

Right, she's not mincing words. And Rose is, again, a little bit judgey. Like when we were talking about Glenn O'Brien, like she's -- which like, makes sense. And I think they're all kind of verging on overstepping boundaries at points, but Rose is, like, has no compassion. I don't think -- or no really even understanding of like, why Lucy might want to go out with all these men. Obviously the big, you know, the big reveal is that she is going out with him because she wants them to like her, and it's about like self-worth and stuff, but I don't think Rose even entertains that.

Sarah 10:51

Yeah, I mean, the closest we get to Rose now is like where she's talking about Tyler's Landing.

Lauren 10:57

A flashy fast-paced city like Tyler's Landing!

Sarah 11:02

Are you telling a story or performing Our Town? No, it's great. And yeah, it's again the toeing the line, like you said, of where is the girls' role outside of Blanche to sort of step in and offer advice? But it's interesting, too, when you talk about the age and all of them sort of, like, pontificating on this, like, oh my god, girl's a slut, all that kind of stuff. I think Dorothy, you know, she's just like, 'things are very different these days.' Right? It's kind of an interesting line. I don't think they say that that often, just because the girls themselves are often -- or at least Dorothy representing the collective girls, where they eventually get -- are very progressive. And so that line just stuck out at me, because it's just like, oh, yeah, they're trying to like -- that's another establishment to remind you that these ladies are older. Right? At least for me, and you, watching it when we were younger, it does bring into more of that grandma feel, where they're just they actually could be reflecting on something going all the way back to The Pilot, where Dorothy's like oh, man, these girls with shaved heads, and all that kind of stuff. It's really funny because she just -- I don't really know what she's talking about with 'things are different these days.' I guess. She's talking about like, instantly falling in love with the guy from -- the doctor? I'm not exactly sure what she means by that, but it just stuck out to me.

Lauren 12:23

Yeah, I think that's also very self-aware. I think it's probably just about dating in general. Like, I mean, you know, Dorothy, we assume has had some other relationships, but only after Stan, and Rose has only ever slept with Charlie until he died. So I think, like, you know, they, even though they're in the 80s at that time, and it's crazy to be referencing the 80s as like a progressive time, but compared to the 50s or the 40s. Like, I'm sure it was very different.

Sarah 12:49

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, that's interesting.

Lauren 12:53

Um, but yeah, so I guess we should really get into, like, Lucy. Oh, Lucy!

Sarah 13:01

'The most stunning hunk of masculinity...' It's just so --

Lauren 13:06


Sarah 13:06

Yeah, I think it's also fascinating and it's this whole -- I want to talk about even just where you were like, it's more believable that Lucy the 20 year old is meeting these men versus like David making friends with the kids at the burger joint or like whatever it is. But remember David goes, he likes stows away and goes to the Bahamas on the plane. And then she's like, flying away with this dude she just met literally to the Bahamas, but then also once he gets picked up for drugs, she somehow ends up dating the cop? Like there's a lot of, if you think just a little too hard, you're like, even if she was just this expert pickup artist that still sort of astounding.

Lauren 13:50

And the the university interviewer, too, like that guy should definitely be fired! That's gross.

Sarah 13:55

That -- Yeah, that's right. That is completely against regulation. Oh my god. She's like, 'I have a feeling I'll be getting in,' like Blanche being sure that she's got the part in the play, you know? Jesus.

Lauren 14:08

So I think that -- I mean, we talked about this in the intro, but the message of this one is really really great and I think is really interesting because I think that it was very smart to make Blanche this storyline. I don't think it would work with any of the other girls, because like you have to be kind of comfortable with sleeping around to deliver a message in a powerful way that's, 'I'm doing this because I want to.' And I think that that's another thing that can come younger, but I think definitely comes with age, is, like, you definitely shouldn't be like dating or sleeping with someone because you want to feel popular and get your self-worth from that. But also if you want to sleep with people because you just want to do it, that's fine. Like, I think it really does well with the juxtaposition of those two instances and it doesn't miss the mark on that at all.

Sarah 15:06

Absolutely. And that speech, again -- the speech that Blanche gives is such great writing and she lays everything that you just said all out on the table like that. Like, you know, because Lucy even says like, 'oh fine thing for you to say,' like this sounds hypocritical, and she's like, there is a difference. And let me tell you what it is. You know, I'm doing this for me and this is not -- you know, if I'm with a man it's because I want to be not because I want him to like me. Because I like him, not because I want him to like me. And it's just yeah, it's so -- I mean, when I'm first watching this episode, I am not anywhere close to dating. And of course, it's just such an interesting thing to get baked into my subconscious watching this as a young woman. And yeah, like you said, even having that message where it's like, but if you want to because you have self-worth, and this is your personal desire, and not a reflection of how you want other people to see you, fucking do it!

Lauren 15:58

Yeah! And it's applicable to dating, for sure. I think it's even applicable to, like, how some -- I am generalizing here, but I do think it's largely some straight girls feel this sense of accomplishment when they are engaged or like when they like, you know, get a man to love them. And it's like, you are the prize! I just want you to understand that, like, you haven't done anything by getting him to fall in love with you because you are great. Everyone would fall in love with you!

Sarah 16:26

Yeah! Right, exactly. Oh my god. And that's so baked into our culture, where it's like, oh, finally! Like that. There's not an equal partnership, that he shouldn't be as thrilled as you are, to get engaged and get married or, like, to decide that you're spending your lives together. And it's still so sick. It's so in our culture, and everything and, yeah, as as a straight woman who has once been engaged to a man, it's like just a weird -- people say weird shit to you. Who really should watch this fucking episode!

Lauren 16:56

Yeah, learn a lesson!

Sarah 17:02

But you're right. It's so relevant today because there is so much of that in our culture still. And you're right. it applies so much to kind of any interaction with a man, really, for a straight woman in a lot of ways, right? Because even in a friendship way, like a lot of women, especially young women, especially 20 year olds, definitely morph their personalities and their interests to just be like 'one of the guys' sometimes because they want to be seen that way. And it's like, this whole, like, quote, unquote, anti-feminist movement only because women don't understand what the word 'feminist' means. But you know what I mean? Like, there's just so much morphing of your personality in general as a 20 year old man or woman, but especially for women, to be that subservient person. Like you said, you be the person who's lucky to have, you know, captured this man's attention and what not.

Lauren 17:52

Yeah, and you know, the man is always Ed! It's like some like loser guy.

Sarah 17:58


Lauren 17:58

But I will say Ed, he's a nice guy. Like he's forging a friendship with Rose, just because they have a common interest. I like it. I wish they'd continued that.

Sarah 18:10

Oh my God, that's the funniest part about all this because literally, again, like we should -- like she has to chase her niece, who she's pretty much responsible for this weekend, to this cop's home like, get out of there, you're a baby! What are you doing? Take that girl out of there, it's crazy, but he's even is like, oh yeah, use my bedroom, like, I understand. He's a very sweet man in this like, weirdo context of, get the fuck out of that apartment. I also, yeah, I love the character. Like you said, I wish we could see Ed more when we have a million other cops show up at doors. But he definitely, you know, got kicked out of that apartment, like very soon after because he can't afford rent. Oh man, and talking about Ed and just his love for Miami Vice where he goes, 'it's in stereo, for Pete's sake!' Like, that's like the selling point in 1985. It's my favorite. It's amazing.

Lauren 19:13

Yeah, he's nice. He's a nice guy. And it's so funny -- I talked about this a couple episodes back, and this one, it's not exactly what I was saying before, but this show is so good at breaking up heavy moments with something that's like really funny. And one of those is when I think Dorothy says that Lucy could really use an older sister right now, and you know Rose like very genuinely is like, 'if she doesn't already have one, I don't think it's humanly possible.'

Sarah 19:43

And she's thinking so hard, right? She's like, really trying to be like, 'I hate to break it to you...'

Lauren 19:53

It's like that meme where the woman's, like, thinking of the math equations.

Sarah 19:57

Yes, exactly. That's Rose's face like 90% of the time. That's perfect. But I thought you were actually going to say when Blanche is in, you know, Ed's Miami Vice bedroom talking to Lucy, giving the whole speech and then they just cut back and Ed, who's you know, his burgeoning friendship with Rose, is quizzing her on trivia. Which, of course, just reminds me of us, like he's like, 'who's the guy blah blah blah' or whatever it was and he just goes, 'there's no way!' and like, he leans back and looks at Dorothy -- 'there's no way!' And I love it because that's like, exactly what we'd be like, haha, a challenge! And she's like, that was Noogie, better known on the streets as the Noog Man. He's like, 'oh my god Rose'! And it's so hysterical.

Lauren 20:41


Sarah 20:42

Well, yeah, clearly relatable. Actually, now that I think of it, I'm making fun ofEd for, you know, having like his Miami Vice apartment, but I definitely have some you know, Blanche's wallpaper palm leaf pillows in my house. So yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, i'm slowly morphing my apartment into a lanai.

Lauren 21:04

What we hate about ourselves we make fun of in others.

Sarah 21:12

Yeah, that must be. But I love that there also another a bunch of other lines -- we've talked about Tyler's Landing and Clel Lightener, which is an amazing name. But again, there's a lot more non-St. Olaf stories, right? Or, St. Olaf stories without them being named as St. Olaf. And I love the first one she's telling earlier in the episode, Dorothy just goes, 'Rose, do you have any idea how weird you are?' And it's perfect because it lays it, you know, it lays it right out again, they haven't even established necessarily that Rose is going to be the one telling all these weird stories, although we've heard a ton so far, without actually saying the words of where she's from. But it's how you would react in the moment, like she's just very bizarre and telling these things completely straight faced, so it was a very proper reaction delivered perfectly by Bea Arthur

Lauren 22:04

There are so many of those in that in this episode. I mean there's the one when when Rose is going on and on about how Larry the mouse, saved her life and they're like, 'call the exterminator.'

Sarah 22:15


Lauren 22:16

But the one that I like maybe the most is when Lucy is quoting Blanche, and says that like crazy thing about if you've got a stallion eating oats out of your hand --

Sarah 22:29

Best close the gate before you give him the sugar!

Lauren 22:29

You said that, Blanche?

Sarah 22:36

That intonation is perfection.

Lauren 22:38

It's so good. But then the other thing is that she does that one/two thing again, where then she and Blanche are sitting down, she's like, I don't think there's enough sugar left in the bowl.

Sarah 22:47


Lauren 22:52

So good!

Sarah 22:54

And she's like gently touching her, like, picking lint off of her. It's just like a perfect way to deliver that line, just sort of disaffected. Speaking of wines that don't work, though, there's like a part where Sophia comes into the kitchen. And right before they transition out of the scene, she just opens the fridge and just goes, 'we're out of milk!' What the fuck is that?

Lauren 23:15

I guess. I don't know if it's supposed to get, like, a big reaction or something? It's funny when we're talking about it. Honestly.

Sarah 23:25

But we're laughing about it because it's so ridiculous. It doesn't tee up for anything. And I think it's like, maybe that's what regular television is like? And we just have such high standards for the show to have every line like somehow connect to something or be purposeful. But I guess it's just like Sophia just leans out of the fridge, like, 'We're out of milk!" and 'dee doo dah" fade out. It cracks me up every single time like, okay, that was a little bit of a brick.

Lauren 23:48

Yeah, I feel like they really kind of struggled to figure out where to fit the other girls in a little bit here. Like, Rose is fine. Like I said, she's leading the mouse charge and Dorothy, too, is like, you know, gonna attempt to reason with the mouse, as well. But Sophia is sort of just like floating out there, so maybe they just were like, give her a line about the fridge.

Sarah 24:07

Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right -- they're like, 'I don't know how to end this scene. Goddammit.' They're also like a couple of moments, too, where again -- referring to the one/two -- that like the jokes are so dense that like the audience, I guess are supposed to laugh but they don't, because there's no breather between jokes. There's the part where Lucy goes, 'Ed arrested Michael, you know, can you believe it? She just goes, 'Whoo, you think you know somebody.' Like, you're supposed to laugh at that, obviously, because it's ridiculous because you do not know these men at all. Little baby. Little baby 20. But, like, you can't, because there's too much dialogue -- there's like too much in that moment. I just, I love finding spots like that. Like, you know that's a joke. But like, there's physically not enough room to have multiple laughs in a row.

Lauren 24:56

They gotta pack it all in!

Sarah 24:59

Yeah. Exactly. Also the closing where, you know, where we actually close up the tiny little mini B story, the little mouse. I don't know whether I'm so focused on the fact that Rose is sort of overhearing Dorothy in this whole monologue or, you know, supposed to be dialogue with the mouse, but I never heard the line where she just goes -- she's talking about like, you came in through a hole and you're eating garbage or you know, she's going through this whole thing, and she says, 'that's not living, honey.' I'd never heard that line before. It like, it never registered in my brain.

Lauren 25:35

And it's so great when Rose walks in and she's like, you have the gift! It's so perfect.

Sarah 25:45

Oh gosh. Well, also, one last thing that I'd love to say for this episode is the 1980s neon earrings that look like they're made of ridiculous plastic that Lucy wears? I think this is their debut? Blanche might have worn them before, but, my god, they show up in every other episode. All right! So next time we're going to discuss the excitement of the Cincinnati two step and Morton's neuroma. Take care, everybody.



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